18.09.2000
Recital
Saturday
we went to a quasi piano recital by my 10 year old grand daughter. I
say quasi because, for various, probably preventable, reasons she missed
her real recital, and she felt really bad about it. So her Dad, my son,
decided he would host a special one for her. She has been playing a
little more than a year, and she is pretty good. More importantly she
really likes it.
I remember
playing the piano when I was little, I enjoyed it but I did not love
it, and I did not choose to practice. She does choose to practice and
she even makes up her own tunes sometimes. So I think she likes it more
than I ever did. Someone commented this weekend that they had asked
her if she wanted to be a musician when she grew up, and she had answered,
"No, I want to be a scientist." I'm glad about that, too.
Anyhow,
the interesting thing about this was that though my son hosted it, it
was held at my ex-husband's and his wife's house. That was interesting,
not entirely comfortable for me, but interesting.
Because
the kids are adults there are events which we all end up attending and
we often actually end up chatting. After 26 years, I have gotten to
the point, where I sometimes entertain the thought of having more traditional
family holidays which include the ex's family and all. It would simplify
some things. It always seems like a good idea for a short time, and
then I come to my senses. The funny thing is that I never really do
think about the good parts of that marriage, I can only focus on the
bad. I remember hurt and anger and real bitterness. Because of issues
of trust, I find that I become really wary about being friendly. As
much as I think I ought to get over the paranoia, I can't. Self protection
always wins.
All and
all, though, this event was OK. I was there for my granddaughter and
there were plenty of other people to talk to. She did a nice job, and
had a good stage presence. Musician or scientist ...hmmmm...I don't
know what I wish for her. Really, I do. I wish her the opportunity to
explore her full potential and to make informed decisions and to be
able to feel satisfied herself with her performance in whatever field
she chooses. What the heck, she can always be both a scientist and a
musician, a la Einstein, right?
No matter
what, Izzy, be for yourself, don't be for someone else. And
never forget, your Gramma-Nut will always love you!