I completely
forgot that January 8, 2004 marked the 6th anniversary of my quitting
smoking.
I can't
believe it's really been six years. I can't really believe I managed
to do it at all.
I smoked
for more than 30 years, having quit a few times, once for three years.
But six ears is the longest I have ever gone without a cigarette.
OK, I
admit that at the decompression party at the hotel bar after my daughters
wedding I had one after a few drinks, but it tasted really nasty, and
that's truly the only one I had. Fortunately, I also rarely drink anything
more than a glass of wine anymore, so it's not likely that I'll have
any occasion to be tempted to have another anytime soon.
I started
smoking originally because it seemed like a way to be cool at the time.
It so happens that I have a really addictive personality so once hooked,
it was very hard for me to quit. I lived with another smoker and we
smoked without shame for years and years. I even smoked when I was pregnant
all three times. But I have to forgive myself for that since back then
there was no instruction to stop.
Even later
when no one around me smoked anymore, and I was no longer married to
a smoker, I continued to be an anathema. I fiercely clung to my habit,
defending my right to smoke. Although I smoked outside everywhere else,
in rain and snow and sleet and hail; in my house, I smoked without regard
to anyone else's health needs. The fact is, I was an addict, and my
drug need came first. My reward for all of that is that two of my three
kids smoked. Although one has now quit, his wife still smokes. I am
so sorry for my part in making smoking seem OK.
I tried
every means to quit from hypnosis to nicotine gum. The gum was the most
useful crutch, but then, quitting the gum became nearly impossible.
In my final attempt, I just had to say the hell with it, the only way
to get rid of the habit is to just quit cold turkey, and so I did. I've
since read that that is the most effective way to quit and stay quit,
and for me it was true.
I can't
say that I don't miss it, because I really do, and if they said it would
be OK for me to smoke tomorrow I'd be first in line. Or, maybe not,
since it now costs so much. That's another reason I am grateful I quit.
I really couldn't afford to support my habit anymore.
Anyhow,
I wanted to mark the quit day here and give myself a pat on the back
for actually accomplishing something which was nearly the hardest thing
I ever did, and which has had a clear role in improving my health and
the atmosphere around here in more ways than one.
Now, if
only I could just summon up the same will power to eat healthy, exercise
and lose weight, I'd be golden for those so called golden years.