Sunday,
I was talking with a couple, friends of mine who are older, in
their seventies. Up until now they have been completely uninterested
in computers or the Internet. They have never seen a need for
it, and computers are somewhat intimidating to them. To give an
example of how removed they are, they recently asked us, "What
does it mean to 'Google' something?"
More
and more though, she has been making noises about getting a computer.
"So,"
he asks, "why do you need one anyhow? It's just going to
take up room, and you'll never use it."
She
says maybe she'd like to e-mail our mutual friend who is moving
away.
He
asks, "Why not just write letters? People appreciate a handwritten
note, and knowing that you took the time to write. It's more intimate
anyhow, much more personal. A computer is just a waste of time.
Who do you write now anyway?"
She
says, " I write the grand kids sometimes."
"When?"
He asks, in a slight mocking tone.
"Well,
I have occasionally written them letters," she answers, slightly
defensively.
"Did
they write you back?" he asks.
"Well,
no not really, but they're more used to e-mail, it's faster, and
with e-mail maybe..."
"Oh,
sure..." he snorts.
He's
holding on to his old attitude like it was a security blanket,
and he's only willing to see the world through the narrow slit
of his own experience. I suspect it's been kind of a pattern in
their relationship, too...her often willing to try something new,
and him stuck firmly in the old familiar past.
Fear
of the unknown keeps him from even wanting to try something which
could expand his experience and provide a wider view. Of course
I also think he's really afraid he won't be able to learn to use
a computer, but that she will. So, there's also performance anxiety
involved. Since he can't think about expanding his world, he figures
he'd better just try to reign her in and keep her world narrow,
too.
Finally,
I say to them, " Well, you have to look at it as an added
tool. It takes nothing away, it just expands your options for
communication. It doesn't eliminate the possibility of the handwritten
communication. It's just a new tool allowing for a more immediate
connection. And you can learn to use it. My Dad is 85, and he
and his 85 year old wife both do just fine."
He
shut up because, really, what can you say to that?
Because of his fear he is still going to continue to make every
argument to try to suppress her interest, but she is a strong
woman and ultimately she will not be thwarted. I doubt she will
ever regret opening herself up to the broader possibilities of
viewing the world through this much larger and more interesting
window.
Meanwhile
he'll still always have his handy dandy little fountain pen